tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3241728628512770396.post5331827715354767999..comments2023-08-03T07:53:45.874-07:00Comments on Ali Yusufali - My world: Mirza's Dowry DilemmaAli Yusufalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03958607961690850711noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3241728628512770396.post-66247149300481245292012-02-21T19:40:12.220-08:002012-02-21T19:40:12.220-08:00Assalam alaykom,
It's my very first time read...Assalam alaykom,<br /><br />It's my very first time reading your blog. And what a day to choose. :( <br /><br />Very, very, very, very heart wrenching post. I, myself, am a young woman, so hearing the plight of a father for his daughter is very, very, VERY difficult!<br /><br />Brother Ali, please tell us what happened with this story as I would love to donate, even if a little bit. <br /><br />I must say, I am not at all surprised that this is happening all across Pakistan and India and other Muslim countries -- heck, it even happens here amongst the Muslims in the States. The expectations for all these things is downright RIDICULOUS. <br /><br />I know that alHamdolillah, I got lucky in my own marriage, that my in-laws never expected such extravagant things (we did gift them a pair of clothes though, nothing crazy). And alHamdolillah, when my brother got married, my parents said no to even a single thing. They said "whatever you want to give, give it to your daughter. Not to us." I'm so proud of them.<br /><br />But then, I hear stories like these -- what is wrong with societies today??? I'm so ashamed that such a Muslim woman still exists today in today's society. Allah has blessed her with everything including money and a healthy, educated family, but still she's asking for a dowry??? ESPECIALLY BECAUSE the person doesn't have the same means? Does she not have enough clothes or jewelry or money? It's disgusting and pathetic. <br /><br />What bothers me even more is there's no way to show this woman the light -- not without destroying Sugra's "value" in the eyes of that person. If the marriage is to happen, then the only way is to succumb to the pressure. OR, to speak to the son-in-law and then have the daughter (Sugra) write specifically in her nikah contract that no mention of her dowry will be brought up post-marriage by his family or that no kind of mental, verbal or physical abuse will be tolerated. But even doing that will make things worse. <br /><br />Sorry for the long comment, but this issue has me very emotional. Anyway, please feel free to contact me if I can help in any way with Mr. Mirza's situation.We Love Narutohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06464530887372918766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3241728628512770396.post-47070866222908469742012-02-20T10:46:47.063-08:002012-02-20T10:46:47.063-08:00Very, VERY well written.
I am shocked, though I...Very, VERY well written. <br /><br />I am shocked, though I probably should not be that dowry is still expected in parts of the world. Is it not the parents responsibility to teach, and educate their children? <br /><br />I don't expect that my son will give me for the rest of my life just because I've clothed, fed or educated him -- that's my responsibility and something I do with eagerness and enthusiasm. As well I do not expect that his future wifes family should pay >> ME/US << for the education and life that I've given him.<br /><br />Allah gave us our son, he is our amanat to take care of - certainly not a burden, or someone to be "sold to" or money recovered from.<br /><br />Dowry is a curse. Families that have only daughters will never get anywhere in life unless they resort to underhanded methods to accumulate so much money as to ensure that their daughters can marry -- even if they are equal in education.<br /><br />I feel terrible for Mr. Mirza having to go against his ethics and morals in order for his daughters to get a fair start in life.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05555493827036499270noreply@blogger.com